Written by Lynn Swayze
How you're supposed to go through life is in a state of ease and flow.
Your emotions should be even-keeled even in the face of difficult circumstances, and you should be able to make decisions from a place of calm, rather than from a place of fear or driven by anxiety.
You should be motivated toward a positive future image or a mission, rather than running from feelings of inadequacy and failure.
So why do we bravely master some situations yet crumple in anxiety and fears in others?
The answer is in the moments we didn't master. Let me explain...
The Moment We Didn't Master
So, humans are incredibly adaptable. Unlike some animals, What happens is that at some point in your timeline -- usually between birth and about 8 years old -- you experienced an event which felt so emotionally overwhelming that you felt it was life or death, that you'd be rejected, that you would die. (The subconscious doesn't quite understand that kids don't get left in the woods to die anymore.)
And you felt incredibly intense emotional pain, fear, anger, rejection, shame, loss of control, etc. in that moment.
And instead of PROCESSING those painful moments in a safe way, you probably had to suppress/repress your emotional response. Or you were further shamed for your emotions.
And in response, your neurology did three things:
1. The ENERGY of that moment was stored in your body, somewhere (TRIGGER). This is why you can get a really good massage and start crying for no reason. It's not no reason - it's because your brain is also in your body and your emotions are stuffed in. You never released, so you repressed in your body. And based on what we know about Dr. John Sarnos' work on TMS, we know that emotional pain can be felt as physical pain.
2. That moment was given a MEANING about who you are (IDENTITY). Since you were a kid, you didn't have perspective or context. You didn't know that your mom said no to that opportunity because they had no money, and not because you weren't valued or deserving of that opportunity. You were not stupid for not knowing the answer to that question, you simply didn't study. That you And so forth.
3. That moment formed a BELIEF about the world to avoid future pain (BELIEF/ACTION). Based on the meaning, your neurology adopted a belief about how the world works which it hoped would keep you safe. For example, maybe you learned that you are stupid, and every time you speak up you get laughed at. Or maybe you learned that speaking on stage is really, really scary. Or maybe you learned that to avoid getting spanked, you should just be really, really good so it never happens again.
And Into Adulthood...
And from that moment in your timeline onward, this "truth" is what you told yourself the world was all about, and you accumulated these moments, positive and negative, until you reached adulthood and solidified your personality.
And to further reinforce your worldview (which formed in response to what was safe and unsafe in your world), your neurology would keep you miles away from any and every situation which in any way resembled the original moment you didn't master, which resulted in repeated patterns where you'd get close to what you want... and then experienced the same anxiety, self-sabotage, quitting, illnesses, leaving the relationship, etc... over, and over, and over again to keep you from ever facing that moment.
And sometimes even worse, this repression can result in TMS symptoms such as chronic neck/jaw pain, headaches, stomach pains, fibromyalgia, and excessive allergies... all to prevent you from facing that moment ever again.
So how do you deal with this?
How to Get Free
There are a few ways to get free of the Trifecta of identity / trigger / meaning, and the best coaches will address all of them and play wack-a-mole with you until you no longer feel triggered anymore:
1. Address it through the physical body. Anything which allows you to safely release the energy (emotions) as they are trapped in the body, such as embodied massage therapy, EMDR, Breathwork, or even some psychedelics can help force the issue from the physical side. As long as you are releasing the meaning and identity around this trapped emotion and installing NEW energy, emotions, and a positive identity of love, acceptance, belonging, and peace, you should be good. Even better is if you also release through timeline work once you're able to experience enough emotional regulation.
2. Address it through the energy body. Anything which addresses the energy side, such as tapping (EFT), energy healing, shamanic soul retrieval/repair, meditation, etc can help as long as you are installing NEW energy, emotions, and a positive identity of love, acceptance, belonging, and peace, you should be good. Even better is if you also release through timeline work once you're able to experience enough emotional and energetic regulation.
3. Address it through mindset and muscle memory. So some people are able to resolve surface-level triggers through reframing. So if you have a limiting belief you are stupid, and are afraid of marketing because you're afraid of being found out as stupid, then you might successfully be able to force yourself to think of marketing as not being about you... and as you experience successful marketing, you'll begin to detach that activity from the underlying emotional meaning. However, this doesn't do anything to truly address that moment you didn't master, and so should be paired with timeline work to avoid gaining new triggers or worse -- physical pains and TMS.
4. Address it in the timeline. Finally, you can address it in your timeline using tools like Inner Child work, Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy, Timeline Hypnotherapy, Past Life Regression Therapy, Neuro-linguistic programming, etc., which safely reframes the moment in the past (and releases the trapped energy) so that it no longer affects you in the present, and then in the present you install a new self-image which you can adopt, and a new vision you can step into in the future. Timeline work should always be paired with tools to release trapped emotions/energy in the body.
Interested in getting 1:1 coaching in releasing trapped energy, emotions, and limiting beliefs so you can move through life with more ease and flow? Contact me to start the conversation.
Resources:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Molecules of Emotion by Candace B. Pert, PhD
- The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders by John E. Sarno, MD
- Mental and Emotional Release by Dr. Matt James
- "Trigger Blaster" by Joe Tabannella (Hypnosis MP3)
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